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April 27, 2015
In reading this month's journal I had to post and share my latest experience. I recently changed my life by moving across the country in response to my sister's death and an offer from a lonely friend. I sold my car for half its value. I gave up my place and belongings to relocate to my hometown thinking my dwindling family and desperate friend needed me.
I made an arrangement to reside with someone I've known for over 15 years, and thought I could trust. In each step of this process I communicated and clarified before proceeding onward. Before letting go of the car, I called/emailed confirming my progress. When boxes were shipped I got an okay on the other end from him. Upon clearing the guest cottage that I rented, I provided my airline itinerary.
When I finally got settled in I had to ask for my room to be cleared of the previous occupant's contents because I literally couldn't get to the bed. I had to ask for keys to be made, and to have my name on the mailbox. After repeated, subtle reminders these things were finally honored.
Weeks later, the environment became unfriendly. My "friend" grew silent and evasive so I asked him to open up. When he's ready to talk he tells me that I was out of line and made demands that were inappropriate. When I disagreed with him stating that it was a room I'm paying to lease and that I had expectations that were warranted, he became irrational and asked me to leave.
With all of the sacrifices I made and losses that derived from this, I'm not sure how I would be still alive without a police record or insanity case. It must be the patience, stillness and quiet that yoga has brought me.
Through much stress, tension and discomfort I was able to get my things out of his condo without any altercation or exchange. I think I even surprised him at how dignified and calm I remained in the light of his anger, threats, etc.
The week of Christmas I left my hometown. I returned back across the country to try to tap into contacts and resources I had left intact to attempt to restart life as it were.
I've trying to stop asking why this happened. I'm just glad that the new me reacted the way I did. It makes me proud.
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